hi everyone. i just wanted to update this blog after a super long absence. i apologize for being so shitty about making new entries but this is me telling you all that i'm not dead! i will hopefully be back soon. i don't want to go in to my personal life too much, seeing as how that's not really what this blog is for but i will just say that there has been a lot of sadness in my life lately, not really due to anything in particular.

some stuff in my life has kind of fucked up and i don't know where i want to go with this, i have a super wide range of interests and it makes it hard to have a blog considering that most blogs include very specific tips for a type of style or whatever. i feel a bit like i'm at a crossroads between fashion and i need a little more time to figure out what i like. i am totally tired of manba, and i hate peoples reactions to it in real life and on the internet. whenever i wear manba out (which is once or twice a week nowadays) people are extremely rude and openly mean to me. the internet (like always) is full of people giving advice when they don't know anything about the style, which is to be expected. i've even have people tell me i am "doing ganguro all wrong." if you call what i do ganguro, i'm not sure if you can critique me. i find too many people reading the wikipedia article about ganguro and thinking they know everything about the style. so, with such a lack in community and people's reaction to manba, i have found myself completely bored and annoyed with manba. i've sort of been tempted to try out proper cyber for a little while and i really do like the style. i hate to say it but i'm not fond of the large cyber community. don't take this as a jab if you're cyber, but very few of the people i've talked to are pleasant and sometimes i would swear the cyber community are bitchier than gyaru. fairy kei and lolita appeals to me but i feel that i look stupid in both. i've worn fairy kei a few times and i like the idea of being a spank! boy but i don't have any confidence that the style suits me. i'm planning on trying out lolita at an upcoming convention (which i will have more info about later) but i know i will be called a fatty chan behind my back and i'm far too tall for lolita.

tl;dr i like too many styles and i don't know which to wear because i can find so many problems with me doing them.

i'm sorry to rant, i hope nobody actually reads this thing. i'm just trying to get everything off my chest. sorry for the long absence, if you are a reader. i'll be back soon. xx


  1. Hi darling! I really like your blog!
    I hope that you will follow mine too ^^.

  2. Wow that comment above mine is like what?
    Anyways I just happened to stuble over your blog and I know nearly nothing about you I think I've seen pictures of you in manba and I really enjoyed it because I nearly never see western manbas but I understand if you want to try new stuff and I'm pretty sure you will rock it even if people call you names!
    I myself do wear lolita occasionally I really love the style but I am too tall and not thin enough to wear brand so I sew my own stuff but everytime I wear it to a convention the other lolitas ignore me I don't know why but hell I feel really pretty in it and am proud of my sewing skills! And even over the not fancy make up/nailart/hair styling because I'm really bad at this!
    So I just wanted to tell you you should just do what you want and be proud in what you actually CAN do there will probably be people who are better at it than you but as long as you feel good and pretty!
    ps I never even dared to interact with the Lolita community at all except for occasional sewloli posts but I'm too scared TT_____TT

    <3 undothebee/sarangnorae

    pps sorry for creeping and leaving such a long comment

  3. Fashion is fashion, it is an aesthetic which is determined simply by how it looks not the brand, or how much money was spent on the outfit. If you love the style, whether it's sweet loli one day and heavy goth the next then they are just facets of yourself, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I've made the mistake far too often, but I learnt who are real friends and who are nice people. In short, you should go for it! And don't give a shit what anyone thinks of you, easier said than done I know but if it is what you love and you want to express it then you should! Style icons are determined by their individuality and creativeness, not trend. <3